Find Your Shine


When I was in the 7th grade, I was told I would never go to college, be anybody in the world by a school counselor.

I went to a high school where I was told I was a nothing and I blended into the school’s walls.

But what happened was I worked my butt off because I wanted to be a somebody.

I graduated with honors and was accepted into a small college in Boston.

But my drive continued even though I had proved them wrong.

It landed me in the hospital in my first manic episode.

I came back to college and didn’t know if I would ever find my shine. After all, I was now labeled, damaged, broken.

After several attempts to be a normal college student, a campus journalist, an actress, a political junkie, an activist, I dropped out.

I was a failure like my 7th grade counselor had said. I would never find my shine.

Through therapy, I eventually gained my voice back and entered a new school.

Upon graduation day, amidst the accolades and the magna cum laude, the morterboards and the circumstance, I realized that all that I had become was the result of what I had been through. Graduation was a sweet reward but I had not graduated life yet.

Life would throw curve balls too. And I would have to learn how to swerve to catch them, to make meaning and purpose of each one.

I became a mental health advocate and a writer/blogger on mental health. I used my experience and my passion to find my purpose. And I’m shining.

I would say that if you feel lost and labeled, if you are knocked down by the naysayers, get back up, spin around, dance, laugh, and try to find one good thing about your world. I have found one thing leads to another and another. Eventually, after enough trial and error, you will find your voice, your passion, your mission.

This will become your shine.


SIP Sessions: Innovative Way to Start the Conversation and Meet New People

“I’d love to see SIP sessions build a population that can do something about the state of Connecticut,” said Brent Robertson of Fathom. “I’d love to see Connecticut take responsibility for its own future. I think we spend a lot of time finger pointing about why things turned out the way they did or are as they are. I think we should figure out how to create the future we want as a state.”

This is why Fathom created the SIP sessions to elevate humanity through conversations that would eventually lead to creating change in communities. SIPs are not TED talks. They aren’t marketing platforms. They simply are people playing with ideas who want to engage others in a free and open to the public forum. 

“I like the quote ‘If you want to see change happen, find your allies and conspire with them,’” Robertson said. “SIP sessions are a magnet for allies. There’s something really powerful that happens when you realize you are not alone, not the only one with these thoughts. There is no better drug to either make or break a new habit than community.”

SIP sessions are an ongoing dialogue which have met in Hartford area cathedrals, other venues and businesses and most of the time at Spaces in Blue Back Square in West Hartford Connecticut. 

SIPer’s are a band of misfits, dreamers who see things could be better and are committed to doing something about it but may not know how to do it. They may not even know their are others out there with the same ambition. “They are people searching for something deeper and have made a commitment to live with more purpose and meaning,” said Robertson. “SIP is for people unsatisfied by the status quo.”

“We get all kinds of waks of life and we are trying to broaden it in 2020,” Robertson said. 

Started two years ago, the sessions have grown to holding one a month with 15 on tap for 2020. Fully funded by Fathom, SIPs keep expenses low by having attendees bring their own food and drinks to share. Whether seltzer or wine in hand, the conversation is sure to engage and motivate. 

The conversation leaders come from local business owners and thought leaders. One leader brought index cards of a book he was working on and handed them out to the attendees and had them ask him questions while he riffed. Another SIP session was on setting boundaries. Another was on letting go. 

Robertson wants to hold SIP sessions in places where they are less available such as the Hartford Public Schools. 

Connections, friednships and actions have been taken as a result of people meeting at these sessions.

During the pandemic, the SIP Sessions have moved online through Zoom. More information is on their web site.

To find out more about SIP Sessions and get a schedule of latest events, go to 

Mental Illness in Music: From Haunting Ballads to Anthems of Recovery

Halsey has bipolar. So does Mary Lambert—she even says so in her song “Secrets.” Musicians have embedded the theme of mental illness into their music for decades. Remember the anthem of every depressed teen? The Rolling Stones “Paint it Black” carved its way into the adolescent language and landscape. The Stones also wrote “19th Nervous Breakdown” also about mental illness. There’s the dark, shadowy hymns of Evanescence with their song “lithium”. Lithium finds its way into the work of a lot of bands and artists. Nirvana immortalized the drug with “lithium.” There are Blaine Larsen’s “How do you get that lonely?” a song about teen suicide and “Starry, Starry Night” by Don Mclean a song about the artist Van Gogh’s manic- depressive illness. There are songs about self-injury. The classics include the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ “Under the Bridge” and “Scar Tissue.” There is the famous Nine Inch Nails’ “Hurt”—a Johnny Cash rendition. There are 90s ballads about relationships and mental illness/suicide such as “Jumper” by third eye blind, “She don’t want the world,” by 3 doors down, and “It’s been awhile” by Staind and “Freshman” by the verve pipe. “Kryptonite” by 3 doors down and “Bitch” by Merideth Brooks are about people in relationships who have mental illness or witness it in the other. There’s the haunting “Iris” by the goo goo dolls about suicide ideation. Matchbox 20 normalized the subject with “Unwell,” “Push,” and “Real World.”

Ballads like these have been written and sung through the ages. Billie Holiday sang a haunting ballad “Gloomy Sunday” –which legend says drives those who listen to it to suicide. Don’t forget this song was written during the Great Depression. 

Studies show that teens who listen to music for approximately 2 to 3 hours a day, especially when feeling distressed have a greater chance of suicidal ideation and suicide. The link between music and depression in young people has led to music being blamed for the suicide of youths. 

Then, there are the positive anthems promoting health and recovery. “Broken and Beautiful” by Kelly Clarkson, “Rise Up” by Andra Day and “Brave” by Sara Bareilles to name a few. There are songs about college students—the Who’s “Behind Blue Eyes.” There is also a rendition of it by Limp Bizcuit. And, there are songs about losing sobriety and gaining recovery in “Sober” by Demi Lovato. 

Gabe Howard ; Author, Speaker, Podcaster, Mental Health Warrior


Gabe Howard is an award-winning podcast host, speaker and writer who lives with bipolar and anxiety disorders. He hosts the Psych Central Show and Not Crazy. He is the author of Mental Illness  is an Asshole, a collection of his observations and blog posts on living well with a mental illness, mental health advocacy, and debunking stigma. I sat down with him over Zoom to talk about men’s mental health, bipolar and relationships and creating a career that works with your mental illness. The following is my first podcast. Enjoy the listen. You can find Gabe Howard at Buy his book, listen to his podcasts and learn from someone devoted to the science of mental health and the truth. 

Two Solutions to Handling Mental Health Care in Tandem with the Police

There’s been a lot of talk in the media about defunding the police. I think it’s less about eradicating the police and more about offering an alternative to helping people in mental health crises that are non-violent. Here, in Connecticut, a person or family member in crisis can dial 211 and ask for mobile crisis to come out to their home. 211 offers a number of services including finding housing, utility assistance, mental health, senior services, covid-19 information, basic needs, healthcare, legal assistance, food insecurity and substance abuse. Run by the United Way, other states may have 211 programs set up. I talked to two people who help staff programs on both US coasts, which offer alternatives to calling 911.

 The Living Room, Framingham MA

 The Living Room is a place of warmth and friendship; an empathetic ear and a direction to services in the community. It is the place to go to avoid costly mental health visits at the emergency room.

The Living Room was open 24/7 until the pandemic hit. Now, it is open half that time, but they have a 24-hour hotline at (508)661-3333. Fully staffed by peer specialists, there is no force or coercion. It is a nice place to talk to someone about your crisis and have the peer specialist make suggestions or guide you two resources. No one on staff commands you to listen to them or tries to diagnose you. There’s a television, a small media library, internet access, laundry facilities, a kitchen (closed now due to pandemic), and a clothing closet full of clothes if you need a fresh change.

A Certified Peer Recovery Specialist (CPRS) is a person who has lived experience of a mental illness, substance use disorder or co-occurring disorder, who has made the journey from illness to wellness, and who now wishes to help others.

An Empathetic Ear

 The staff at the Living Room make no decisions for the person. They only provide information. There is a quiet room and another living area with three recliners and two couches. Peer specialists must maintain a trauma-informed space.

They’ve got the word out by informing the local police departments about their service as well as through other provider agencies (the Living Room is a part of Advocates) and the spiritual community.

“We create an environment where people are treated kindly and with empathy, not like mental patients,” said Keith Scott, Vice President of Peer-Support and Self-Advocacy for the Advocates.

“This is not peer counseling—no advice is given,” said Scott. No advice, only an ear and maybe a suggestion.

Their Problems are Never Made Light of Here

 They see people who hear voices, have severe depression, or maybe homeless. People can stay up to three nights.

“Without the Living Room as a resource, people would go to the ER, and especially for a sexual abuse survivor the ER is not always trauma sensitive,” said Scott.

Located at 284 Union Avenue in Framingham MA, the Living Room mainly sees the poor and disenfranchised, those living in mental health ghettos where access to services is limited. Staff will sometimes bring people to psych emergency services and the Living Room is located two blocks from a hospital.

The Living Room’s COVID Response

 Now, through COVID, the Living Room recently opened up three weeks ago. While closed during the pandemic, they reached out to people through ZOOM groups. They offer a GLBT group, a group for people of color, a hearing voices group, and a suicide alternatives group. They also offer groups for gamers. This increased their access to people and name recognition in places like the Philippines.

Upon re-opening, they are open from 8AM to 10 PM. Staff use full PPE, masks, goggles, gloves, sanitizer, and disinfectant. They clean multiple times a day. Staff get their temperature taken and guests are asked questions.

Between July 2019 through the end of May 2020, they’ve had 4,340 interactions and 337 unique guests. The average length of stay is 1.3 hours; 34 hours is the longest length of stay.

Other states with similar projects are Illinois, California, New York, Virginia, and Texas. Massachusetts is starting to put contracts out for bid to open additional Living Rooms.

To find out more about Advocates, go to



Courtesy of W. Holderfield, White Bird Clinic

Crisis Assistance Helping Out on the Streets (CAHOOTS), Eugene, OR

 Marginalized people, people of color and others often don’t want to contact the police in a crisis. After years of abuse, they don’t trust them. Often what people need is to call in an alternative. CAHOOTS is one such service based out in Eugene, Oregon.

I spoke to Michelle Perin, cross-trained as a crisis worker and a medic, who works for CAHOOTS. The mobile crisis operation has three vans: one in Springfield, OR running 24 hours and two in Eugene OR, where the program originated. The vans are equipped with first aid materials, clothes, food, hygiene options, tents, and tarps. There is a space for the driver, a space for materials and a space in back to transport people to organizations to help their needs. The vans are now sealed off with plexiglass due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Citizens Call in People in Crisis

 Citizens will often call in problems to 911 and CAHOOTS will be sent out to de-escalate those calls where there are no threats of violence. They work with the police and are funded by the city.

“Most calls that come into police are social service calls,” said Perin. “That’s where we come in.”

A Partnership with Police

“We have a partnership with the police,” said Perin. CAHOOTS get the social service calls; the police get to be freed up for the harder stuff.

Some of the crisis they take on are changing wounds, helping parents with an out of control 12-year-old, family mediation, homeless people, and those contemplating suicide. “We go where we are asked–sometimes in a high-end neighborhood; sometimes in low income neighborhoods.”

They also go with the police and fire department to handle an overdose.

Saving the City Money on Mental Health Visits

 “We save the cities money,” Perin said. The City of Eugene’s police budget funds them. They are also part of the White Bird Clinic, a non-profit with a socio-medical model of the counter culture 1960s. White Bird Clinic provides medical care, mental health and drug and alcohol addiction services, a dental clinic, and mobile crisis (CAHOOTS).

This Pilot Program Launches Elsewhere

 “There are very few similar to our program through the public safety system,” said Perin. “In some places, a social worker and a police officer will go to a call together. We are the fourth arm of the public safety system.”

Crisis teams are starting to sprout up across the country. Albuquerque, New Mexico has something similar. Olympia, WA came to them and asked to build a model around CAHOOTS. Denver and Portland are working on programs like CAHOOTS.

When crisis happens such as the death of George Floyd and people talk about reinventing the police from the ground up, White Bird Clinic has been operating a safe, successful, humanistic program for 30 years.

Where to Call for Help

The crisis numbers to reach CAHOOTS are: for Eugene (541)682-5711 and for Springfield (541)726-3714. You can also ask for them by calling 911 and an Oregon area dispatcher will send them out. To find out more about CAHOOTS and White Bird Clinic, go to


Teen Author Starts New Blog on Eating Disorders with her Mom

Julia Tannenbaum, author of Changing Ways and now Breaking Free, launched a new blog Nourish with one of her moms Katherine Wilson on July 6, 2020. Nourish as the subtitle states is about balance through food. Julia, who is recovering from an eating disorder, was inspired to share her stories of hope and healing along with the recipes her mom, Katherine, made her while she was refeeding. Nourish blog is wholesome healthy recipes to support people recovering from eating disorders.

Throughout Julia’s illness and recovery, Katherine stayed at home to give Julia 100 percent of caregiving. Wilson, who holds an MBA, is vegetarian and an avid gardener and composter.

“Being a good cook, I fed her to beat her disease,” said Wilson. “Eating disorders are more than about food. Food is intense in everyone’s life. If you have an eating disorder, all logic goes out the window. It’s a brain disease and it is frightening, making food the enemy. Food is medicine. We had to teach Julia to learn how to enjoy food approaching food in a gentle way.”

It was a gradual journey to get Tannenbaum to a place of recovery. “I’m lucky to have a support system,” said Tannenbaum. “as well as access to foods that I’m comfortable with and a schedule/routine.”

The blog has information about exchanges and could also be useful for diabetics and athletes. Wilson altered recipes based on what Tannenbaum needed at the time.  The pair intend to write the blog for a year and see what comes from it. They are hoping for a book deal—which would be a book of insights and recipes into feeding eating disorders.

“Going through mental illness was horrible but it gave me the gift of helping me be more understanding of others,” said Tannenbaum.

Exchanges are tools for planning and calculating individualized meal plans introduced by the American Diabetes Association and the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics. Exchanges are a type of food that falls into one of six food groups: starches, proteins, fats, vegetables, fruits, and dairy. Tannenbaum was introduced to them while in treatment for her eating disorder. On their blog, the pair plan to cover exchanges.

Tannenbaum is currently working on the trilogy of her first two books, which you can find out more about on the Nourish site as well. You can read Nourish at Find Nourish on Instagram at thenourishcookbook; facebook thenourishcookbook; and twitter thenourishcb.


Resources on Mental Health for Black People

In light of the tragedy of George Floyd, here are a few resources for people of color in need of mental health resources and services. If this has got you feeling shaky, talk to someone a professional or someone in your support network.

Black Emotional and Mental Health Collective (BEAM)


The Nap Ministry

Dive in Well

Inclusive Therapists

Ethel’s Club

Loveland Foundation

Black Female Therapists

Black men Heal

Black Mental Health Alliance


Article by SELF magazine about resources for black men and women

SELF article